Before I broke up with my ex, I had a dream I was mediatating. I was sitting in lotus position and a big yellow glow was surrounding my head. I have always respected my dreams because they foretell the future. I usually dream about people I haven´t seen or heard from in a long time and they usually pop back in my life. Weird. So that dream was there and so I guess it gave me an idea; start meditating and reading on my own, now that I had all that free time on my hands.
I was surrounded by stress and depression I was very sad and lonely, although I had many frineds who liked to party my aim was not to party that much anymore I wanted a life of happiness with a partner, but inevitably I was still surrounded by my old party mates.
My birthday came around and I was still working for that American school. I continued to smoke weed everyday. I smoked right before work and as soon as I got home from work I sparked one up. I was high for the most part of the day. Weed was my companion. With my mom in The States and my sisiter on her own way, I didn´t have anything left but my marijuana. It gave me peace, but looking at it now, it was my distraction from myself and my empty life.
I continued to party with my frineds and each time it got heavier. I guess I would go against my will to stop partying because I was so alone, so lonely; and all I had was them on the weekends.
My birthday came round and I invited my friends to come over. They were all guys except for one girl who was my sister´s friend and my sister in total it was 5 of us. I invited my ex K, he came but just brought some chocolates, he was in recovery and wanted no part in the partying. Evryone was at my house K came by and stayed for like 10 minutes then left.
My friends were creepy, they were die hard acid droppers. That night I remember I took acid, extasy, I sniffed coke, smoked weed and drank wine, all in one night. It was a friday and there was a party at a a nearby castle in a town about 40 mins away from Bogota. Anyhow off we were.
The castle had belonged to a well known mafioso, called Gacha, he was a satanist, the castle had a tower and they say every night he would leave a glass of wiskey and a cigar for the devil in the upper most part of the tower; the next morning the cigar had been smoked and the wiskey had been drunk. Legend or not, I was all fucked up and going to a party on my 25th birthday there.
We arrived all of us fucked up. Little by little the tension around us started building people angry at eachother, annoyed at me. Anyhow I didn´t understand what was going on. At one point I was left ouside all by myself, all fucked up on drugs. I finally found everyone I went to them and started dancing when I noticed that something was wrong. Terribly wrong. Some guys were after us, they wanted to kill us. I have recently spoken to one of the people who was at that party and he said they were satanists. And they were there to kill us. So it wasn´t only my trip it was everyone´s reality. What a horrible birthday.
I couldn´t scream, we couldn´t run, I coulnd´t hide, nothing. It was my sister, C, and I all hurled together dancing in panic, waiting for something to happen and nothing did, We were petrified. My heart was beating very rapidly, I was tired I couldn´t dance anymore but we had to. My sister, I thought was in on it. She had this boyfriend I didn´t like at all. My friend was annoyed too, honestly who wouldn´t be. To this day I don´t know why they didn´t kill us that night. What a birthday!
We left like at 4.30 am we were up on a mountain, I really dont know what happenedfor them to let us go. It was morning time whaen I arrived home, when my sister and C left me at home my sister started singing "It´s my party and I´ll cry if I want to cry if I want to".... How surreal.
Angry, confussed and scrared I woke up and needed to talk to somebody. I started calling everyone I could . No one was up I called these two friends of ours who were into partying hard core too, I later found out they had been into satanism too. They heard my story but did nothing for me. So I called K, It was the day of my birthday I wanted and needed company.
I called him all day long and he wasn´t in. Nothing all day; scared and confussed and comming down from all those drugs. Finaly at 7.30 he answered. He invited me out to the movies with his little cousin. We went to the movies and the next day we went out into the countryside to practice meditation. I told him my story but he didn´t believe me. To this day I tell people my story and they don´t believe. But I know what I lived.
Days went by I kept going to work at the school, then one sunday morning I was walking near my house when I go into a cafe internet and some weird guy asks me if I know how to say speak perfect englsih and how to say barley in Spanish. ( Barley is the name of my exboyfriend´s coutry side house), It gave me a really creepy feeling I started thinking I was being followed, just like my ex had said he was being followed, After all he had just left me and there were creepy people around, I just put two and two together and off I went into this world of panic and paranoia, that lead me into insanity!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Love and Drugs
I got older and kept doing drugs. I met someone and I fell in love. A very good looking Colombian guy. He was tall, cinammon skin, teal green eyes, thick black eyebrows, great body, and very very sweet. I couldn´t believe he loved me and not my sister, she was always better looking than me at least that´s what I think.
With time my family broke apart, my sister and I were doing coke, weed and drinking, we did that with my ex boyfriend and his friends, we would get home, go to sleep and wake up the next day, and all a sudden horrible fights would break loose in my house, my sister and I would hit eachother, we´d break things in the apartment, calm down and then party again. Little by little we started to lose focus of our spiritual way, and we got more and more into the pleasure of drugs. Unfortunately our family broke apart. I moved in with my ex boyfriend, whom I smoked weed and did coke with all the time, my sister moved into her own apartment, and my mom left for The US.
My ex came from a very traditionalistic family but he was not traditionalistic at all. We partied all the time. I didn´t like him at first, I didn´t want to fall for him but unevitably I did. We were very much alike, but he was 11 yrs my senior and was very experienced at sex, doing drugs and partying. He was a mama´s boy so he really wasn´t very professional, he had never worked a day in his life. But he had traveled a lot, he studied in Switzerland and the US, after that he came back to Bogota, and we met.
Anyhow the partying continued; the women, the men, all these people always flirting and we flriting back. There was always problems, always negative situations, but we managed to stay together for three years.
All through this time I´d buy books on spirituality by the Dalai Lama, or by Sai Baba, or whomever really, I had the I Ching, He tried to get into it but his very traditionalistc upbringing really didn´t allow him to understand or get a grasp of this all. So he just did drugs, partied and concentrated on sex.
It was a relationship, but he cheated on me so many times in my face, the love just died.
One vacation, December 28th 2008 we were at his coutry house with his cousins, siblings, his mom and other relatives, anyhow his whole family was there; We were at a party and this guy´s cousin starts flirting with him in my face and him back with her, I was so pissed off, I really can´t help but notice how different I am now to what I was then, I did coke all the time, I was in an abusive relationship and I was all alone in this world. So really I got outraged I went balistic. I got really quiet and very very serious; people were like here have some dinner, no one really tried to make conversation the atmosphere was tense eventhough their mom supposedly liked me, but culturaly I was very different to them so there was really never a relationship.
I got really really drunk and picked a fight with him after the party was over. I scratched his whole face. The yelling and the screaming was unbarable, it was horrible. The next day his mother threw me out of the house. He didn´t let me leave. I didn´t really didn´t understand him. He would do all these fucked up things I´d get hysterical and then he´d like to see me chill and fall asleep besides him.
I would always say he was passive agressive.
Some time later I popped in the country house that I had been banned from with my sister and my other bitch, slut friend M. She was after him too. Bitch caniving bitch. We got there for Spring break, the houses were full of guests. We were able to stay in his brother´s house. Along with us there was a group of jerks staying there with their wives and girlfriends. They started making fun of me and the fact that I scratched my ex´s face saying I had to be locked up or something for what I had done. Saying that I needed a toreador as if I was a bull, to make me as pissed as possible for the toreador to give me what I deserved. It was horrible. I got pissed off, of course but what could I do? Nothing.
I went to sleep. Like three later and I hear this ruckous, the guy who had been making fun of me had beat his wife up so bad I ended up taking her to the hospital. She was bleeding very badly, her whole face was swollen, and his was all scratched up and swollen too. That was his newly wed wife, I don´t know what happned to their marriage, but you should never point fingers.
That house used to be a jailhouse in the 1700´s They killed a lot of soilders there, I think that there are a lot of souls still left there. At one point I started to think that one of those angry souls got into me and made me feel this horrible rage and that the same thing happened to this couple.
I really believed that, but I don´t really think so anymore. Shit happens. I had never before acted like that, whenever my sister and I would get into a fight I would be the looser, I was always the one who ended up scratched up badly but not her, and she´s a lot smaller than I am. Honestly I think I think it was my own rage for the unfair behaviour I had to put up with. I think I never married a Colombian because of that, lots of guys in Colombia are like that with their women, they cheat and cheat but they are the providors so women put up with it.
But honestly I can´t; I wouldn´t be able to handle a serious relationship with a player. In my way of thinking I´d have to become a player myslef to live with him.
Anyhow, time went by and my ex and I lived together for two years even after the lieing, the cheating and the deceit I lived with him.
One saturday morning, when I was working for a great American school in Colombia, and I was earning a great salary, I just started looking at my life with this guy, parties during the week a whole bunch of coke all the time, weed all day, everyday, my guy always jealous at my friends who were mostly male and honestly speaking they would make sure he was jealous of them too. I guess in a way they would do that to get back at him for the stories I´d tell them about us. Anyhow, there was chaos all around. He didn´t work but his family made sure he gave his share of the rent but that was it. I was the only one who worked and even though I had a great salary and his family gave him his share of the rent there wasn´t enough money to go around for all the partying he liked to do and I gave into. I was fed up.
On that Saturday morning I got up and went to look for some money I had left in our room. To my surprise there was some momney missing. By that time he had started doing crack, well the equivalent of crack in Colombia, I tried it once and hated it; thank God.
He had started stealing from me; jobless, useless, deceitful, pretty boy, now stealing from me. You know I know I stayed with him before because I knew he loved me, and he had his problems and I thought I could help. But that time I knew he was stealing from me I knew the love was gone. So I came to the conclusion that he was using me. All the pain that comes from seeing that after three years together is unbareable, plus the cheating continued, the drug use had gotten worse, and the fighting was daily.
I went to the gym that saturday morning and I just started thinking of my ex, K this Colombian American whom I was happy with for a couple of years, I thought about our American friends and the cool times we had. Although he was the one who taught me how to do coke, two years after I started doing coke with him he introduced me to Alcoholics Anonymous. He is a Psychologist, well traveled and very very spiritual. In the begining of our relationship, he used to get all coked up and say he used to be one of the 12 apostles, he would say his dream was to go to India and meet Sai Baba, that spiritual guru of the 90s. That thought, that thought of K made me feel better; a whole lot better.
The next idea I had was to look for an apartment all for myself, I couldn´t break up with him and let him go, I tried that a million times before without success, so moving out into my own territory might just work. I thought about my old friends, the friends that had stuck by me all through this time and didn´t like him. ha! I had something else to live for I never could do it by thinking about myself, but I thought about all those other exterior things and hey, this plan might just work.
I started looking for apartments in the news paper and saw many of them. And I saw one; OMG, this beautiful apartment on 82nd street and 7th ave. in Bogota, a very beautiful area in the city.
This apartment was gorgeous. With huge windows that had a great view of the mountains and all the most luxurious flats in that area. Beautiful carpeting, golden yellow paint on the walls and black marbel lamps. Venetian blinds. It was the apartment I had pictured in my meditations when I was 15 yrs old before I left New York for Greece, I couldn´t believe it.
I took it. It was the begining of my new life, my new single adult life.
With my boyfriend at the time, the deal was you live in your apartment, I live in mine and we see eachother like any other couple who is dating. He was pissed, especially after he saw the apartment I had gotten for myself. It was even more difficult for me to get rid of him. He was a free loader and when he saw he didn´t have to pay for his share of the rent it was even better for him, we comntinued having sex and lving together but I was desperate I couldn´t take his frineds over the house during the week and on weekends. So I called my ex, K, We got together for talks, for A.A. for group and for recovery.....I needed the help and he was willing to give it to me. I guess I´ll really never know if he wanted to sleep with me again, but I never did. Actually I never cheated on my boyfriend, except for one night.... I met this gorgeous Irish guy we got drunk at a party and I went to bed with him I´ll never know if I had sex with him that night but I know we fooled around. That was J, gorgeous guy. I still love him. But that´s another story.
Anyhow I kept seeing K, while seeing my boyfriend, but things were pretty much the same.
One day I was talking to my sister and she told me that her boyfriend who was this bad ass in town knew the people living next door to me in my new apartment. It turned out to be this gorgeous 22 yr old, at the time I was 24. But this kid was drop dead gorgeous; tall, tan, thin but built wow what a gorgeous guy. And very very cool. Part of the underground scene in Bogota and I was after that.
Anyhow I started talking to my neighbor and I introduced him my boyfriend and they bacame acquqintances. The kid liked me and all he would do was poke at my ex, I like her, she likes me you should really pack your things and get going, all behind my back. It was pathetic to watch how paranoid my ex became. lol!!!!
All you do in this life gets back to you.
Christmas came around, and as usual my ex dissappeared my neighbor came around that chritmas eve and well we drank red wine together and sniffed some coke. I guess we were getting to know eachother, there was definately an attraction there. He invited some friends over and we went to a rave. We went to the party and made out in the middle of the crowd and lights it was great. I went home all paranoid because of the Extasy and the coke. It was pretty pathetic. I got home went to sleep and that was it. Next day In comes the clown, my ex at the door. " Where were you I´ve been looking for you" " Man I´ve been here I was here all night till about 1 am"
When he found out I had gone out with the neighbor he threw such a fit; he started screaming and yelling and making a scene, and I didn´t even tell him, I sent the guy over for some weed and the neighbor, just to fuck with him, told him we had spent christmas together at a rave. Anyhow he just threw a fit got pissed off and left.
Yes, I felt sad but I had to see him crawl the way he had made me crawl all this time.
Not very spiritual I know, but I was contaminated by drugs, anger and hate. I suppose now it would be different.
A couple of months went by and I was doing great at work, I was teaching theather and English at this American school, I was paying my rent and bills on time and still partying. Finaly February came by and it was Valentine´s day, the day of my play opening at the school. That same day he left me. He took all his stuff and left me.
His allegation was that he was being folloewd and chased by the guerrilla to be kidnapped and held for ransom. I was like shut up you´re just paranoid nothing is happening. Anyhow he didn´t even call me he never showed up again I had to call his asshole brother and hear from him that my ex was hidding in a military base about 3 hrs from Bogota.
That was the end of it. No more, that weekend, my play opened, I was very happy but also very depressed. I couldn´t believe that it was finaly over.
Me at 24 with a great job, in a big and beautiful apartment all and completely alone. I called this psycho dealer we knew and he took me partying; he gave me like a million "e" tablets and I got fucked up. I took all of them and did coke, and drank we went to this night¡club we usually went to I picked up someone I have no recollection of, I took him home, had sex with him and he left like at 5.00 a.m. I know we had sex because I found a used condom in my room.
At 7. a.m. I woke up to door bell ringing. It was my neighbor.
It still makes me smile to this day, he was up since the night before partying, I went over to his place and he started singing this song in spanish for me " quien te va a curar el corazon partio" by Alejandro Sanz...
( Who´s gonna mend your broken heart)
We went to bed that morning: he promised the sky and the starts for me. telling me he wanted it all with me now that he was gone. I so remember that morning.
Nothing absolutely nothing came from that. But just a bridge from that horrible relationship into a harsh lonely single life.
With time my family broke apart, my sister and I were doing coke, weed and drinking, we did that with my ex boyfriend and his friends, we would get home, go to sleep and wake up the next day, and all a sudden horrible fights would break loose in my house, my sister and I would hit eachother, we´d break things in the apartment, calm down and then party again. Little by little we started to lose focus of our spiritual way, and we got more and more into the pleasure of drugs. Unfortunately our family broke apart. I moved in with my ex boyfriend, whom I smoked weed and did coke with all the time, my sister moved into her own apartment, and my mom left for The US.
My ex came from a very traditionalistic family but he was not traditionalistic at all. We partied all the time. I didn´t like him at first, I didn´t want to fall for him but unevitably I did. We were very much alike, but he was 11 yrs my senior and was very experienced at sex, doing drugs and partying. He was a mama´s boy so he really wasn´t very professional, he had never worked a day in his life. But he had traveled a lot, he studied in Switzerland and the US, after that he came back to Bogota, and we met.
Anyhow the partying continued; the women, the men, all these people always flirting and we flriting back. There was always problems, always negative situations, but we managed to stay together for three years.
All through this time I´d buy books on spirituality by the Dalai Lama, or by Sai Baba, or whomever really, I had the I Ching, He tried to get into it but his very traditionalistc upbringing really didn´t allow him to understand or get a grasp of this all. So he just did drugs, partied and concentrated on sex.
It was a relationship, but he cheated on me so many times in my face, the love just died.
One vacation, December 28th 2008 we were at his coutry house with his cousins, siblings, his mom and other relatives, anyhow his whole family was there; We were at a party and this guy´s cousin starts flirting with him in my face and him back with her, I was so pissed off, I really can´t help but notice how different I am now to what I was then, I did coke all the time, I was in an abusive relationship and I was all alone in this world. So really I got outraged I went balistic. I got really quiet and very very serious; people were like here have some dinner, no one really tried to make conversation the atmosphere was tense eventhough their mom supposedly liked me, but culturaly I was very different to them so there was really never a relationship.
I got really really drunk and picked a fight with him after the party was over. I scratched his whole face. The yelling and the screaming was unbarable, it was horrible. The next day his mother threw me out of the house. He didn´t let me leave. I didn´t really didn´t understand him. He would do all these fucked up things I´d get hysterical and then he´d like to see me chill and fall asleep besides him.
I would always say he was passive agressive.
Some time later I popped in the country house that I had been banned from with my sister and my other bitch, slut friend M. She was after him too. Bitch caniving bitch. We got there for Spring break, the houses were full of guests. We were able to stay in his brother´s house. Along with us there was a group of jerks staying there with their wives and girlfriends. They started making fun of me and the fact that I scratched my ex´s face saying I had to be locked up or something for what I had done. Saying that I needed a toreador as if I was a bull, to make me as pissed as possible for the toreador to give me what I deserved. It was horrible. I got pissed off, of course but what could I do? Nothing.
I went to sleep. Like three later and I hear this ruckous, the guy who had been making fun of me had beat his wife up so bad I ended up taking her to the hospital. She was bleeding very badly, her whole face was swollen, and his was all scratched up and swollen too. That was his newly wed wife, I don´t know what happned to their marriage, but you should never point fingers.
That house used to be a jailhouse in the 1700´s They killed a lot of soilders there, I think that there are a lot of souls still left there. At one point I started to think that one of those angry souls got into me and made me feel this horrible rage and that the same thing happened to this couple.
I really believed that, but I don´t really think so anymore. Shit happens. I had never before acted like that, whenever my sister and I would get into a fight I would be the looser, I was always the one who ended up scratched up badly but not her, and she´s a lot smaller than I am. Honestly I think I think it was my own rage for the unfair behaviour I had to put up with. I think I never married a Colombian because of that, lots of guys in Colombia are like that with their women, they cheat and cheat but they are the providors so women put up with it.
But honestly I can´t; I wouldn´t be able to handle a serious relationship with a player. In my way of thinking I´d have to become a player myslef to live with him.
Anyhow, time went by and my ex and I lived together for two years even after the lieing, the cheating and the deceit I lived with him.
One saturday morning, when I was working for a great American school in Colombia, and I was earning a great salary, I just started looking at my life with this guy, parties during the week a whole bunch of coke all the time, weed all day, everyday, my guy always jealous at my friends who were mostly male and honestly speaking they would make sure he was jealous of them too. I guess in a way they would do that to get back at him for the stories I´d tell them about us. Anyhow, there was chaos all around. He didn´t work but his family made sure he gave his share of the rent but that was it. I was the only one who worked and even though I had a great salary and his family gave him his share of the rent there wasn´t enough money to go around for all the partying he liked to do and I gave into. I was fed up.
On that Saturday morning I got up and went to look for some money I had left in our room. To my surprise there was some momney missing. By that time he had started doing crack, well the equivalent of crack in Colombia, I tried it once and hated it; thank God.
He had started stealing from me; jobless, useless, deceitful, pretty boy, now stealing from me. You know I know I stayed with him before because I knew he loved me, and he had his problems and I thought I could help. But that time I knew he was stealing from me I knew the love was gone. So I came to the conclusion that he was using me. All the pain that comes from seeing that after three years together is unbareable, plus the cheating continued, the drug use had gotten worse, and the fighting was daily.
I went to the gym that saturday morning and I just started thinking of my ex, K this Colombian American whom I was happy with for a couple of years, I thought about our American friends and the cool times we had. Although he was the one who taught me how to do coke, two years after I started doing coke with him he introduced me to Alcoholics Anonymous. He is a Psychologist, well traveled and very very spiritual. In the begining of our relationship, he used to get all coked up and say he used to be one of the 12 apostles, he would say his dream was to go to India and meet Sai Baba, that spiritual guru of the 90s. That thought, that thought of K made me feel better; a whole lot better.
The next idea I had was to look for an apartment all for myself, I couldn´t break up with him and let him go, I tried that a million times before without success, so moving out into my own territory might just work. I thought about my old friends, the friends that had stuck by me all through this time and didn´t like him. ha! I had something else to live for I never could do it by thinking about myself, but I thought about all those other exterior things and hey, this plan might just work.
I started looking for apartments in the news paper and saw many of them. And I saw one; OMG, this beautiful apartment on 82nd street and 7th ave. in Bogota, a very beautiful area in the city.
This apartment was gorgeous. With huge windows that had a great view of the mountains and all the most luxurious flats in that area. Beautiful carpeting, golden yellow paint on the walls and black marbel lamps. Venetian blinds. It was the apartment I had pictured in my meditations when I was 15 yrs old before I left New York for Greece, I couldn´t believe it.
I took it. It was the begining of my new life, my new single adult life.
With my boyfriend at the time, the deal was you live in your apartment, I live in mine and we see eachother like any other couple who is dating. He was pissed, especially after he saw the apartment I had gotten for myself. It was even more difficult for me to get rid of him. He was a free loader and when he saw he didn´t have to pay for his share of the rent it was even better for him, we comntinued having sex and lving together but I was desperate I couldn´t take his frineds over the house during the week and on weekends. So I called my ex, K, We got together for talks, for A.A. for group and for recovery.....I needed the help and he was willing to give it to me. I guess I´ll really never know if he wanted to sleep with me again, but I never did. Actually I never cheated on my boyfriend, except for one night.... I met this gorgeous Irish guy we got drunk at a party and I went to bed with him I´ll never know if I had sex with him that night but I know we fooled around. That was J, gorgeous guy. I still love him. But that´s another story.
Anyhow I kept seeing K, while seeing my boyfriend, but things were pretty much the same.
One day I was talking to my sister and she told me that her boyfriend who was this bad ass in town knew the people living next door to me in my new apartment. It turned out to be this gorgeous 22 yr old, at the time I was 24. But this kid was drop dead gorgeous; tall, tan, thin but built wow what a gorgeous guy. And very very cool. Part of the underground scene in Bogota and I was after that.
Anyhow I started talking to my neighbor and I introduced him my boyfriend and they bacame acquqintances. The kid liked me and all he would do was poke at my ex, I like her, she likes me you should really pack your things and get going, all behind my back. It was pathetic to watch how paranoid my ex became. lol!!!!
All you do in this life gets back to you.
Christmas came around, and as usual my ex dissappeared my neighbor came around that chritmas eve and well we drank red wine together and sniffed some coke. I guess we were getting to know eachother, there was definately an attraction there. He invited some friends over and we went to a rave. We went to the party and made out in the middle of the crowd and lights it was great. I went home all paranoid because of the Extasy and the coke. It was pretty pathetic. I got home went to sleep and that was it. Next day In comes the clown, my ex at the door. " Where were you I´ve been looking for you" " Man I´ve been here I was here all night till about 1 am"
When he found out I had gone out with the neighbor he threw such a fit; he started screaming and yelling and making a scene, and I didn´t even tell him, I sent the guy over for some weed and the neighbor, just to fuck with him, told him we had spent christmas together at a rave. Anyhow he just threw a fit got pissed off and left.
Yes, I felt sad but I had to see him crawl the way he had made me crawl all this time.
Not very spiritual I know, but I was contaminated by drugs, anger and hate. I suppose now it would be different.
A couple of months went by and I was doing great at work, I was teaching theather and English at this American school, I was paying my rent and bills on time and still partying. Finaly February came by and it was Valentine´s day, the day of my play opening at the school. That same day he left me. He took all his stuff and left me.
His allegation was that he was being folloewd and chased by the guerrilla to be kidnapped and held for ransom. I was like shut up you´re just paranoid nothing is happening. Anyhow he didn´t even call me he never showed up again I had to call his asshole brother and hear from him that my ex was hidding in a military base about 3 hrs from Bogota.
That was the end of it. No more, that weekend, my play opened, I was very happy but also very depressed. I couldn´t believe that it was finaly over.
Me at 24 with a great job, in a big and beautiful apartment all and completely alone. I called this psycho dealer we knew and he took me partying; he gave me like a million "e" tablets and I got fucked up. I took all of them and did coke, and drank we went to this night¡club we usually went to I picked up someone I have no recollection of, I took him home, had sex with him and he left like at 5.00 a.m. I know we had sex because I found a used condom in my room.
At 7. a.m. I woke up to door bell ringing. It was my neighbor.
It still makes me smile to this day, he was up since the night before partying, I went over to his place and he started singing this song in spanish for me " quien te va a curar el corazon partio" by Alejandro Sanz...
( Who´s gonna mend your broken heart)
We went to bed that morning: he promised the sky and the starts for me. telling me he wanted it all with me now that he was gone. I so remember that morning.
Nothing absolutely nothing came from that. But just a bridge from that horrible relationship into a harsh lonely single life.
The Underground and Society
As time went by I was confronted with people who did drugs, for various reasons, with those who didn´t but drank and with those who didn´t do either. I ran into a lot of discrimination especially at work. Granted I went to work all hung over very many times, some other times even drunk coz I´d been partying all day when I´d have class in the afternoon. But some how I manged to keep my first job. Full of fun people especially fun beacuse they did drugs. People at my job were upper class Colombians from bilingual schools who had lived abroad. In Colombia people with those characteristics usually do drugs especially if they are in their 20s.
One of the many guys i met was "P", a teacher where I taught too, a very good looking and sexy Colombian boy. God was he cute, he smoked weed like crazy and did acid and mushrooms too. He was a musician, bilingual and from a very good family. So were his friends he had just graduated from a bilingual school in Colombia that catered to most diplomat family kids, so yes there was lots of money surrounding them all the time. We became really good friends we satrted hanging out together all the time smoking weed and drinking scotch. It was usually He,
his best friend, my sister and I. One day we decided to go camping to do mushrooms for the first time for my sister and I, and since they had done it many times before and it was recommended that your first time be with experienced travellers wen went ahead and made the trip to Boyaca, an area or state close to Bogota, about 3 hrs away.
I had my first and only mushroom trip and it was amazing!!!!
The first thing I saw was the holy jury. In the sky up above a table and about 5 or 6 men in cloaks made of clouds. They told me I was doing a fine job in life and to keep it up.
O.K. ( keep up the drug doing i guess) lol...
It was fun what i liked about these experiences with guys that did drugs was that sex wasn´t necesarily involved I knew they liked us but they were there to have fun not just to have sex. And that was the case in many cases. Nice!
I remember "P" very much, I never dropped acid with him, but I know he did it and very much. I also remember him telling me that he was going to the shrink, the he was trying to get clean from shrooms and LSD because he had gone overboard, and was trying to get better. That was one of the very first times one of my party buddies had told me he should get clean and I thought " what´s wrong with you, why do you want to get clean what´s wrong with drugs, why do you want to give in to your parents and society´s wishes, what about our life and the way we live, the expansion of the consciousness?" Little did I know the very harsh long term effects of drugs in your mind and body. I was 23 I am now 33.
Society was always against people doing drugs; comercials, schools, governments, ( in a certain way), parents, company managers etc... But honestly I thought they were just ignorant, I thought they were just geeks and not cool, people who were afraid of experimenting a little. Now a days I think a lot of people have tried drugs and have partied, even mainstream lawyers, doctors, and politicians. And I guess that because they have tried it they know the dangers of going over board, especially on such strong chemical drugs like acid, herion, extasy, crystal meth, crack and so on. I really never got close to drugs like herion, crystal meth or crack nor any of it´s kind neither did i ever smoke coke or shoot it up. I guess I was alright because of my obession for spirituality.
One of the many guys i met was "P", a teacher where I taught too, a very good looking and sexy Colombian boy. God was he cute, he smoked weed like crazy and did acid and mushrooms too. He was a musician, bilingual and from a very good family. So were his friends he had just graduated from a bilingual school in Colombia that catered to most diplomat family kids, so yes there was lots of money surrounding them all the time. We became really good friends we satrted hanging out together all the time smoking weed and drinking scotch. It was usually He,
his best friend, my sister and I. One day we decided to go camping to do mushrooms for the first time for my sister and I, and since they had done it many times before and it was recommended that your first time be with experienced travellers wen went ahead and made the trip to Boyaca, an area or state close to Bogota, about 3 hrs away.
I had my first and only mushroom trip and it was amazing!!!!
The first thing I saw was the holy jury. In the sky up above a table and about 5 or 6 men in cloaks made of clouds. They told me I was doing a fine job in life and to keep it up.
O.K. ( keep up the drug doing i guess) lol...
It was fun what i liked about these experiences with guys that did drugs was that sex wasn´t necesarily involved I knew they liked us but they were there to have fun not just to have sex. And that was the case in many cases. Nice!
I remember "P" very much, I never dropped acid with him, but I know he did it and very much. I also remember him telling me that he was going to the shrink, the he was trying to get clean from shrooms and LSD because he had gone overboard, and was trying to get better. That was one of the very first times one of my party buddies had told me he should get clean and I thought " what´s wrong with you, why do you want to get clean what´s wrong with drugs, why do you want to give in to your parents and society´s wishes, what about our life and the way we live, the expansion of the consciousness?" Little did I know the very harsh long term effects of drugs in your mind and body. I was 23 I am now 33.
Society was always against people doing drugs; comercials, schools, governments, ( in a certain way), parents, company managers etc... But honestly I thought they were just ignorant, I thought they were just geeks and not cool, people who were afraid of experimenting a little. Now a days I think a lot of people have tried drugs and have partied, even mainstream lawyers, doctors, and politicians. And I guess that because they have tried it they know the dangers of going over board, especially on such strong chemical drugs like acid, herion, extasy, crystal meth, crack and so on. I really never got close to drugs like herion, crystal meth or crack nor any of it´s kind neither did i ever smoke coke or shoot it up. I guess I was alright because of my obession for spirituality.
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